Skeptic Humor

You Were Speeding!

Source: "You Were Speeding" by the Frantics © 1984 CBC radio from the album Frantic Times off the Dr Demento's 30th Anniversary Collection: Dementia 2000
http://flatrock.org.nz/topics/humour/stop_stopping_to_think.htm

Cop: "Excuse me sir, would you mind getting out of your train of thought?"

Guy: "Huh? What?"

Cop: "Where's the big idea sir?"

Guy: "Oh, I'm sorry officer, I don't understand, I was thinking."

Cop: "Yeah, your mind was wandering all over the place. May I see your degree please?"

Guy: "Sure, here."

Cop: "Take it out of the frame."

Guy: "Sorry. It's a community college learner's permit."

Cop: "You need a BA to drive this idea home!"

Guy: "Oh, I... I must have been lateral thinking, and not realised it."

Cop: "Uh huh."

Guy: "See, I had to think fast to get around that mental block back there, and I didn't notice the limits."

Cop: "This degree has expired! I ought to throw the encyclopedia at you."

Guy: "Why? Is this a controlled thought zone?"

Cop: "Yes, it is, sir. See the sign?"

Guy: "School...
"I guess I was letting my thoughts wander all over the avenue of consideration."

Cop: "Uh huh, you almost collided with established dogma back at those presumptions."

Guy: "I wasn't thinking straight!"

Cop: "I see. Have you been drinking, sir?"

Guy: "A couple of beers, but I'm not illogical!"

Cop: "Well, I should stop your thought process right now, but I'm going to give you a ticket for quick thinking."

Guy: "That's three points off my IQ!!!"

Cop: "And the fine is a penny for your thoughts."

Guy: "I'll get back into the flow of normal thought, officer."

Cop: "Uh huh, you go straight to your inevitable conclusion: it's foregone, you can't miss it."

Guy: "Yes."

Cop: "You understand?"

Guy: "Yes. Thank you very much officer."

Cop: "Okay, off with you...
"Kids! Too damn smart for their own good!"